A divorce is hard on every member of a family, regardless of how involved they are in the reasoning behind the divorce. Especially when children are involved, handling the proceedings of a divorce can be challenging. There can be a lot of confusion, anger, hurt feelings and loss. However, there are things you can do to make this tumultuous time easier on your kids as well as yourself. So to help each member of your family get through this upheaval of a life event, here are three tips that will make your divorce easier on your children.
Give Consistent Reassurance
When something goes wrong in a parental relationship, its only natural for the children to wonder how they contributed to it and if they could have done anything different to have avoided this situation. Because of these feelings, children often blame themselves for their parents divorce even if they really had nothing to do with it. To combat these feelings, KidsHealth.org recommends for parents to give their kids consistent reassurance that they are not to blame for this situation and that a divorce in no way changes how each parent feels about them. Especially if your children are too young to fully understand what a divorce truly is, its vital to explain that the parents will never divorce the children and youll still always be a family.
Strive To Keep All Relationships With Kids Strong
Once the family dynamic is changed, it can be easy for kids to develop a stronger relationship with one parent over the other, especially if majority custody is given to one or one parents interest is drawn elsewhere. However, the American Psychological Association advises parents to encourage their kids to maintain a strong relationship with each parent after a divorce. This continued contact and connection will help your child better adjust to the new norms their life now provides.
Keep To Your Routines
Children crave routine, despite how much they may appear to want otherwise, and this statement couldnt be more true than in circumstances of divorce. With all the other changes taking place in their lives, its important for you children to have a sense of stability that can be found in having consistent routines. HelpGuide.org shares that sticking to routines for parenting schedules as well as daily activities can help your child feel safe and secure in their time of turmoil. These routines can be especially helpful when they remain consistent regardless of which parent theyre spending time with, showing that life will continue moving forward in as normal of a way as possible even amid trying times.
Although no one ever wants to put their child through pain and suffering, sometimes a little pain right now in the form of a divorce is better than an entire childhood of pain suffering in an unhappy home with both parents. To help your child still have a happy and healthy life during and after divorce, use the tips mentioned above to make this transition as easy as possible.