As any divorced parent will know, while there are plenty of benefits of co-parenting, it’s rarely easy. Working with your ex, to ensure that you both have the opportunity to be in your kid’s lives is important. However, it can also be incredibly difficult.
Putting aside your own problems to successfully share custody of your children can seem impossible. However, while co-parenting can be stressful, it doesn’t have to be that way. Believe it or not, you can develop an amicable relationship with your ex, for the sake of your kids.
By following the tips in this guide, you can make co-parenting a lot easier for yourself:
Have a set agreement in place
While being flexible about who has the children when, can work well, that’s not the case for every couple. To make co-parenting easier, having a custody agreement in place is a good idea.
You can come up with a custody agreement yourselves, or for a more formal approach, you can have a lawyer deal with it for you. If you and your partner don’t get on, it’s a good idea to contact a local family law solicitors and have them draw up an agreement for you.
Be friendly to your ex for your child’s sake
Having to see your ex-partner on a regular basis for pick ups and drop offs isn’t easy. However, it’s important that you always treat them with respect. Regardless of how you feel about them, for your child’s sake, you need to be friendly and respectful to your ex-partner.
If you feel like you can’t be friendly to your ex, focus on your child. They are the reason that you need to treat your ex-partner well; it’s best for your child if you are nice to their father. When dealing with your ex, never yell at them, always try to remain cool and calm. This is especially important when your children are present.
Keep negativity to yourself
No matter how upset or angry you are, never say negative things about your ex to your children. Don’t ever make your kids feel like they have to choose between you and your ex-partner, as that’s not fair to them.
When it comes to your child’s father, it’s important to understand how much your child loves them. Saying negative things about them to your child, will not only upset them, but it may also cause resentment.
Be a good communicator
When it comes to dealing with your ex-partner, the most important thing you can do is be a good communicator. Bare in mind that you will need to communicate with your ex until your child is an adult, so it’s a good idea to perfect this early on.
Don’t demand things from your ex-partner, always ask them. For instance, instead of saying, ‘I need you to have Katie this weekend’. Say, ‘ Would you be willing to have Katie this weekend?’. Simply by changing how you word things, you can ensure that the communication between you and your ex, goes well.
Co-parenting isn’t always easy; there will be plenty of bumps in the road. However, if you take note of these tips, you can make it much less stressful for yourself.