Parenting isn’t easy in general, and parenting during a divorce can be downright awful, especially if you and your soon to be ex are busy trying to hurt one another. You can remain a good parent during a divorce, and even if your spouse is bashing you, to your kids and their friends, you don’t have to stoop to their level.
If you are going through a divorce and things seem to be going a bit difficult for you, there are things you can do to help smooth things over. You also need to be concerned about who will get custody of your child or children, and that means not rocking the boat. Here are a few tips for better parenting during a divorce.
Don’t Talk Poorly About Your Spouse
It can be easy and tempting to say negative things about your spouse, and while there may be a time and place for your venting, it is not around your children. Your spouse may be saying negative things to the kids about you, but just because of that doesn’t mean you need to do it too.
Your children, no matter what age they are, will see the truth, sooner or later. And, if you are the one that doesn’t do the bashing and remains an adult that doesn’t fall into the games, they will learn to be better people themselves as they grow older.
Plus, all that bashing just gives your spouse more ammo against you when it comes to divorce and custody. Instead, keep notes about what you hear that they said, or told your children. Most importantly. When you do need to be face to face, keep calm and don’t lose your temper.
Don’t Spoil Your Kids
You don’t need to change your behavior around your children just because you are going through a divorce. Spoiling them with expensive gifts and clothing actually makes you look bad, to more than just them. Sure, they might like getting all of that new and fun stuff, however, it also makes it look like you might be trying to buy them off or buy their love.
To the court it may look as though you are the bad parent trying to use money to convince your children that you are something different. Your children crave your love and affection more than monetary items. Make sure you are giving them plenty of that.
Remember This Is Hard On Everyone
Your children really need their parents right now. Divorce is especially hard on them. Make sure that you are talking with them about their feelings and emotions, but not telling them about the divorce. They are too young to understand and all they really need to know is that they are loved and wanted.